


The Trouble With Tribbles

by McBethins



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Tribbles (Star Trek)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-27
Updated: 2013-07-27
Packaged: 2017-12-21 13:01:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/900618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McBethins/pseuds/McBethins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>is that Pavel is adorable and Leonard can't say no.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trouble With Tribbles

**Author's Note:**

> I realize some of you were probably hoping for a wedding...but this happened instead xD 
> 
> So grab a tribble and enjoy!

Bones was almost sad to see the little guy go:  the little guy being the tribble that had helped save Jim’s life. But like all tribbles, this little guy _or gal_ was for all intents and purposes born pregnant and Dr. McCoy was not about to start a maternity ward.

“Hey Bones how’s it go-hey woah woah wait a minute what’re you doing with J.T.??”

Bones slowly looked down at the cooing tribble in his hands and then back up at his best friend raising one skeptical eyebrow that would have made Spock proud.  

 “Really Jim?”

“Really what Bones, that’s James Tiberius Tribble Jr. and I don’t like the way you’re looking at him.”

Bones sighed, “Jim, this tribble is a _girl_ first of all-“

“Jamie. Jamie Tiberius Tribble.”

 “…And _she_ has to go,”

“What!?” the Captain, with all the grace of a gymnast track star hybrid, took off like some majestic bird and vaulted himself over a series of biobeds, landing directly in front of his astonished CMO, shock and exasperation written all over his face. Both men spoke at once:

“That’s a 10 Jim.”

“Bones you can’t have Jamie.”

“Jim, do you cherish Jamie or the Enterprise more because according to the hobgoblin’s calculations, if Jamie stays on board the resulting tribble population will be so great the crew will be playing find the Captain in the tribble stack for the next seventy years!”

Jim narrowed his eyes and scratched his imaginary beard in deep thought while Jamie affixed herself to Leonard’s head.  The Doctor sighed but didn’t bother moving the fluff ball as he reasoned there were worse ways the universe could screw with him than by making his face a tribble friendly zone.

_They are kind of cute…_

“So can’t you prevent the pregnancy, there has to be some kind of tribble birth control!”

“There is and it’s called getting them off the damn ship!”

“…them?”

_Oh shit_

“JT was pregnant when she arrived, there’s already-“  
“I’m a daddy!?” Jim clasped his hands together like an excited school girl and before Bones could comment on that he was engulfed in a hug, released from said hug, and left to watch his Captain fly about Sickbay no doubt attempting to locate JT’s babies.

“See Jim this is what I mean they’ve already begun to multiply!”

“Leonard,” James breathed.  And rarely did Jim say Leonard’s actual name aloud, it was voiced for special occasions or when one of them was in mortal danger, grievously wounded, in complete and utter despair, etc.

Apparently dealing with tribbles qualified as one of those times.

“Leonard how could you have hidden these guys from me?”  As he spoke, the Captain’s face was pushed up against the glass tribble settlement situated on Bones’s desk that he had thought he could hide for at least a little while. There were about twenty balls of fluff milling around and cooing to their tiny hearts’ content.  And there would be more. A whole lot more.

“Jim _please_ ,” Leonard put his head in his hands; he had to get those fuzz balls out of there-

It was then that Pavel appeared.  

“Leonard dear have you eaten today-“  Chekov paused, his crystalline blue eyes settling on the Captain’s head wedged against the glass as he cooed at its occupants, “Leonard, is the Keptin…alright?”

“Uh yea he’s alright, just a little side effect from this hypo I gave him really that idiot’s just allergic to everything and Pav don’t go in there ok trust me.“

“But Leo, why not?” Pavel looked at him strangely.

“There’s um…this _dangerous toxin_ that’s been released in there and it’ll kill anyone who touches it _in fact Jim is probably destroying his cellular structure right now_.” He ground out the last part staring pointedly at the back of Jim’s head. 

Pavel raised an eyebrow and the corner of his lips quirked up in amusement. “Leo what exactly do you not want me to see in your office? I know everything that is in there already…”

“Look Pav,” he placed his hands firmly on Pavel’s shoulders and tried to placate the curious Russian, “the real reason you can’t go in there is that Jim has this really embarrassing skin condition-“

An indignant squawk sounded from the office, “I do not have a skin condition! Hey, is that Chekov? Chekov get in here man!”

Angry exasperated gibberish clouds popped up in Leonard’s brain as his boyfriend flashed him a devious grin, bounded into his office, and of course had to notice the no longer secret tribble colony.

“OOOO Leo what are these?” Pavel stood next to the hunched over Captain and tapped the glass carefully, watching in delight as several of the mysterious critters moved towards him.

“Joey, Jimmy, Janey, Jerry, Jilly…” Jim rattled off a string of alliterative names as his eyes roamed over the tribble colony. He stopped mid naming and rose abruptly staring at Bones or rather the vacant spot on top of Bones’s head. “What happened to Jamie?”

Bones’s hands flew to his head. He was alarmed to find only his hair and no tribble. “She was right here where could-“

“Cooooo”

Bones’s eyes widened and he slowly lowered his head, hands still at his head, “…There’s a  tribble in my shirt isn’t there?”

Indeed a raised mound was travelling up the Doctor’s abdomen emitting happy cooing noises. It took Pavel and the Captain a minute before they realized the strange expression and snorting noises coming from the spaces in-between the Doctor’s fingers which were now over his mouth, was an attempt to stifle his laughter.

Pavel’s stomach dropped as he concluded either his boyfriend was losing it or…

“Goddammit,” Leonard sputtered as he attempted not to laugh despite how ticklish the tribble was. JT began burrowing herself in the crevice between Leonard’s neck and jaw planting herself there resolutely and cooing loudly.

“Aw Bones she likes you, you **_can’t get rid of her now_**!” Jim said staring at Pavel intently and then tossing Bones a shit eating grin.  As the Captain anticipated, his words soon came together in Pavel’s head and caused him to frown, inquiring, “Get rid of her?”

_Jim you son of a…_ Leonard mentally facepalmed.

“Look Pavel it’s not - If we don’t get rid of the tribbles the entire ship will be consumed by them, they’re well they’re born pregnant.” he tried to sound serious but he couldn’t help it as he sputtered out a laugh every couple of words while the tribble pulsed against his neck it soft fur as tickling as any feather. He went to reach for the annoying ball of fluff but his hands were rendered useless as his boyfriend grabbed them first looking up into Leonard’s eyes, his own eyes wide and imploring. “Surely there is another way Leo…?” he said sweetly, and oh god was he actually batting his eyelashes? Well there went the universe once again conspiring against the Doctor. Leonard tried to inhale deeply which was normally a good anger management technique but seeing as his neck was a tribble hot spot it ended in him wheezing out a laugh while Jim took the opportunity to reach between the two lovers and pry JT away from Bones.

Jim raised the tribble over his head in triumph hooting and hollering like a madman. Leonard half expected him to click his heels in the air as he danced towards the door. He was about to leave tribble in hand and defeated Leonard in his wake when the door opened abruptly revealing a stern looking Vulcan.

And wow he was a hard, solid brick wall of a Vulcan Jim realized as he ran face first into his first officer.

“Ugh God Spock what the hell…I could have you court marshaled for wrecking my beautiful face,” the Captain sat where he had landed on his ass as he rubbed at his jaw which was not in the slightest bit wrecked.

Bones crossed his arms and muttered, “Baby,” at the same time Spock informed everyone that wrecking one’s face was an illogical premise for a court martial and that beauty was a relative term.

“Captain I trust the Doctor has explained to you the importance of ridding the ship of any and all tribbles and that you have undoubtedly refused to comply.” Spock strolled further into the room reaching out a hand for the Captain to take. And did Spock almost sound amused?

Jim started a little at the uncharacteristic gesture, but took the proffered hand and rose to his feet.

“Spock come on how bad could-“

_CRAAASH_ the unmistakable sound of glass breaking filled the room. It was then that Leonard realized Pavel was no longer beside him.  His heart leapt to his throat as he bounded for his office.

“Pavel darlin’ are you alright?” he called out as he stepped into the room and came face to face with….

One Pavel Chekov adrift in a sea of broken glass, spilled paperwork, and tribbles: mostly tribbles.

If it had been anyone else Leonard would have been completely pissed off but as it was this was his boyfriend smiling apologetically at him tribbles climbing all over and cooing and godammit this was the most adorable thing he had ever seen. He felt warmth spread throughout his chest and was surprised he didn’t melt into a puddle right then and there. If Jim had seen the look on his face he probably would have remarked about the Grinch growing a heart that day or some such malarkey.

“What happened?” he asked partially dismayed partially amused, stepping around glass shards until he could kneel beside his lover.

“Well I was,” _cooing at them,_ “observing them and then I leaned in too close and well…” he waved his arms exasperatedly at the web of glass all over Leonard’s office. “I um, I am werry sorry Leo…” he said dejectedly, pulling tribbles out of his hair and trying to somehow hold them all in his arms at once.

“It’s alright Pasha,” Leonard responded in a heartbeat, smoothly, softly cupping Pavel’s face leaving a light yet tender kiss on his lips in physical reassurance. Pavel blushed upon hearing his name said so intimately, it was still a relatively new occurrence having begun a few days prior when Leonard tried and failed miserably to learn Russian, but settled for only knowing _Pasha._

Both men smiled chuckling at their situation and Leonard wondered if it would be so bad to just stay on the floor with Pavel in his arms and a boatload of tribbles in Pavel’s. Pavel giggled delightedly at the small pink tribble in his hands as it cooed. He looked up at Leonard all youth and innocent hope as he said, “I understand that they have to go, but…” he bit his lip and held the pink tribble to his cheek, “Can’t we keep one?”

“No Pav, don’t you see we…we can’t…”

“Pleeeease Leonard?” he smiled sweetly, crawling into the Doctor’s lap.

Leonard swallowed thickly, wavering under the force of Pavel’s big blue eyes glowing with hope and life and love and really as he lost himself in those shining beacons, and he thought how Pavel himself was the greatest obstacle Leonard had ever encountered with regards to making decisions that should have been simple.

Pavel watched Leonard’s jaw work, eyebrows rise slightly, eyes seemingly searching, his lips pouting as he thought.

He found this state of deep contemplation absolutely Leonard and absolutely adorable.  

Leonard made several aborted attempts at speaking and eventually said, “Well I-”

“Oh come on! You’re actually considering it when _he_ asks you!”

“Jim. I was beginning to think we’d never receive your valued input.” Bones turned to his friend a sardonic smirk on his face.  Pavel chuckled and figured there moment of intimacy was over and that he had better get up. Accordingly, he tried to get up, but was kept where he was by a pair of firm, but gentle arms around his waist.

He felt the smile on his face before he knew it was there.

“Of course I’m not considering it I’m…” Leonard’s words tumbled out of him, but then he looked down at the frowning though understanding Russian in his arms and sighed, “I’m just finding it very difficult to say no.”

“Spock, tell Bones it’s illogical to favor an ensign over a Captain!” Jim ordered though he sounded more like a little boy complaining about stolen lollipops.

Spock raised an eyebrow, “Well Captain it is illogical to pick favorites in general unless by doing so you are able to achieve a particular goal. Have you a particular goal Doctor?”

“Well,” Bones looked Pavel in the eye his dark orbs suddenly smoldering, glittering with desire a smirk of a very different nature settling over his face and sending shivers down the navigator’s spine, “My current goal has absolutely nothing to do with the tribbles.”

Pavel turned scarlet, Spock raised both eyebrows, and the Captain remarked on his prior knowledge that Bones was a dirty old man at heart.

..

In the end the Captain realized with a heavy heart that JT and her brood would have to go. Fortunately however, Pavel came up with the idea of giving them away to a petting zoo on Earth where they could be monitored and kept at a reasonable population size. Watching the ever stoic Spock stand on the transporter pad with crates of cooing tribbles at his feet and a few in his hands made everyone’s day. Well everyone except the Captain.

“This might sound silly,” he confided in the Doctor later that day, “But JT was important to me, I mean without her you would never have known to use Kahn’s blood and bring me back to life. She inadvertently saved me and I feel like I just gave her away.”

He sighed while Bones placed a hand on his shoulder. The Doctor’s face crinkled into a half-smile mischief glinting in his eyes, “Well Jim, don’t say I never did anything for ya.”

“What are you…is that?”

As Pavel walked in with one Jamie Tiberius Tribble in hand grinning from ear to ear, the Captain hugged Bones (it was a manly hug of course) made a few delighted sounds (those were also manly), and took the tribble from Pavel. He petted it for a moment in thought and then looked up at the other two men, “Wait a second. You wouldn’t start a maternity ward just for me…”

“She’s sterilized Jim. All tribbles do is eat and give birth: now all _yours_ does is eat. ” The doctor crossed his arms in thought, “I should probably give the procedure to that zoo...”

“That might be a good idea Bones,” Jim agreed clapping the Doctor on the arm.  

The trio stood around conversing and laughing for a while until it occurred to Jim to ask Bones what he should feed JT.  
“Well Jim, you _don’t_ feed her a chicken sandwich and a coffee.”

“Well yea I know that-hey JT that’s my lunch get out of there!”

As the Captain salvaged his food, Pavel wrapped his arms around his fiancée’s bicep and leaned against him. “Leonard?”

“Yea, Pasha?”

“What do I feed Anastasia?”

Leonard raised an eyebrow amused, “Is that what we’re calling her?”

Pavel nodded producing the small pink tribble from his pocket.

Leonard put an arm around his fiancée who beamed up at him. “Well Pasha, there’s this type of grain…”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed le fic!
> 
> And yes there were several nods to the original tribble episode xD 
> 
> I would like to thank my editor juliana677 for editing in general, allowing me to bounce ideas off of her, and for naming the tribbles!
> 
> There will be a wedding...eventually. I have some interesting plans first that will hopefully come to fruition in a timely manner though I make no promises...
> 
> Well thanks for reading~!  
> <3


End file.
